


Cold as hell

by Azazel_Shaaryn



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon Typical Swearing, Coming of Age, Developing Relationship, Easier when you're numb, Gen, He isn't far from it with the constant drinking, Moral Ambiguity, Morty Centric, Morty is going on a quest, Morty isn't okay, No Incest, Rick isn't a sociopath, Summer isn't nice but she cares, Thought heavy at times, but he will be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-05-19 04:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azazel_Shaaryn/pseuds/Azazel_Shaaryn
Summary: When Rick goes alone on an adventure, Morty use this time to think. About himself, his life, the things he has done and seen. But when Rick fails to come back it may be time for Morty to act whether or not he is okay with what his actions will make him into. Because sometime all you have to do is not think about it.





	1. Prelude

There was something strange about Morty. He knew it because fucked up shit was kind of okay now, things like just not looking back when they visited cities with slavery or barbaric civilizations. It was strange to realize that he kind of began to see these things as normal too.

What could he do or say about those planets eons away who had lived like that forever ? Who was he to decide that their ways weren’t good, weren’t normal ? Normal was fucked up because it didn’t exist. Not when you knew that there were hundreds, millions of realities where every event happened slightly differently or where everything including morals was the opposite of what he knew, that or it was so unknown it couldn’t be imagined.

He was beginning to see where his grandpa was coming from when he said society was shit, a fucking prison. So he was beginning to understand that and it kind of frightened him. It wasn’t because it made him feel powerless.

He knew powerlessness since he was old enough to get what was said around him. When he could understand that what his parents were screaming about was him, his “slowness”, the fact that he was “special”. As if he didn’t know what they meant, as if he hadn’t already heard the word “stupid” thrown from time to time when his father got particularly desperate or his mother drunk.

No, feeling powerless wasn’t knew, wasn’t frightening, it was almost all he knew before, what with getting bullied and the rest. No, the adventures his grandpa took him on since he came back weren’t what made Morty think himself strange.

What he had seen he could deal with, well he still had some fucked up nightmares but that was kind of part the package right? You couldn’t live what he lived without thinking about it after, at least a little, and since his days were pretty occupied well … nightmares it was. That and he had lived enough with Rick already to understand that some things just couldn’t be avoided or at least not to torture himself over it. But that was okay.

What wasn’t okay was what had made Morty feel powerful, what he had done. These trips were the greatest thing to ever happen to him. But he was discovering things about himself he wasn’t comfortable with. He wasn’t as stupid as people made him to, he knew very well what he was slowly gliding into.

He wondered if that was why his grandpa was always so rough with him. Could he see ? Could he glimpse behind Morty’s face what he could become ?

Sometimes his nightmares weren’t about lives he couldn’t save or horrifying explosions but just about him alone somewhere he didn’t know, looking calmly over the edge of cliff. He would look at the horizon, feel the breeze and be totally at ease. But when he looked below he could see his hands dripping red and something mangled somewhere on the ground, far away, a glimpse of white.

He wondered with a brisk little laugh if another Morty knew what he was going through, if any other universe had a Morty a little too bloodthirsty, a little too angry with the world sometimes. Because that’s what he was. He had to see it, after all you couldn’t put your head in the sand when you had as much blood as him on his hands, even less when in a fit of anger, you shot your grandfather in the head thinking all along what you had in hand was a functioning pistol.

So he was fucked up and it kind of looked like it wouldn’t get better. Not with Rick as moral compass when the man could barely hide the fact that he was wanted for so many crimes they almost couldn’t get around without meeting people or governments with grudges the size of the sun.

He knew he was fucked up because when he thought of that, of his grandpa as a murderer, the author of apocalypses and genocides, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Rick was the first being to care for him. It wasn’t easy, it was often painful but it was the best thing he ever got. Oh he was stupid to Rick, but hey the man was a genius absolutely everyone was an idiot to him. And wasn’t that the best thing, to be the least stupid being in the man mind, to be seen as useful to the genius who couldn’t show he cared but did it anyway ?

Well he hoped he cared because sometimes it looked like the only things Rick was capable of feelings was despair (which he drowned in alcohol), boredom, anger, possessiveness and superiority. But he could do with possessiveness, he was beginning to think he was kind of possessive too because sometimes when Summer was with them and was too close to him or just rude he could feel his hands clench and his neck tense.  Yeah, definitely fucked up. If was going to think about when his sister angered him enough to consider hurting her it was time to do something else. Follow the new catchphrase Rick was throwing along lately : “Don’t think about it Morty !”.

Yeah he was going to go outside and … and what ? He didn’t have any friend and the only thing he could do in his garden recently was sit on the other him grave’s and think. It sounded kind of counterproductive with his current situation.

God he was feeling so distant he couldn’t even angst properly. Maybe he would just go and sit on the cold floor of the garage and sleep in the corner. That sounded good. Rick had this bag/bean/thing (?) you could sit against and it was one of the most soothing material Morty had ever encountered. Add to that his strangely nightmareless nights in the garage. Yeah definitely doing that.

He hoped Rick would come back soon. The man had gone alone on an adventure, saying it wouldn’t take long and he wouldn’t need a clumsy shield coming along to ruin things. In Rick speech Morty was almost certain it meant “I’m going somewhere or to do something a little too fucked to feel comfortable taking you”.

He put himself in the corner against the desk, felt himself be almost smothered by the encompassing pillow and close his eyes with a little sigh. It had been what ? Four or five days ? Maybe when he would wake up, it would be to the familiar sound of portal or to the smell of booze, of kerosene and unknown elements and the deep voice of his grandpa.


	2. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He put himself in the corner against the desk, felt himself be almost smothered by the encompassing pillow and close his eyes with a little sigh. It had been what ? Four or five days ? Maybe when he would wake up, it would be to the familiar sound of portal or to the smell of booze, of kerosene and unknown elements and the deep voice of his grandpa.

When he opened his eyes it was to Summer shaking him.

“Hey Morty you need to wake up before dad goes looking for you.”

When he didn’t answer she pinched violently his shoulder. It may have been one of the only things available to her sight in the darkened room, hidden as he was into the bean.

“Come on, I have other things to do Morty !”

He groaned and pushed his face further in the bag.

“Geez live me alone Summer, I was sleeping well you know.”

A shadow of guilt flitted in her eyes before it disappeared. She was well aware of how mentally taxing “adventures” could be and she wasn’t a stranger to nightmares herself. But she was most of all a teenage girl whose crutch was her friends outside the family and her phone so she was … mostly selfish.

Morty could understand that in a way. Where Rick had chosen him and gotten him out of his miserable life, Summer was (and he couldn’t stop himself from feeling a touch of satisfaction at that) not Rick chosen and by so had no escape from their parents other than what she had already been doing. Which was be an insufferable bitch who couldn’t really care sometimes or at least a little abrasively.

“Come on, don’t your remember what today is ? If you don’t want it to be as awful as it was last year then you want to be found in your room this morning okay.”

“What ?”

“It’s your birthday Morty okay ! Your birthday! Now move your ass before it’s too late.”

At that she got up and turned back to the door.

“I’m going to run interference for you but don’t count on me for the rest of the day, I’ve done my part.”

“Yeah thanks Summer.”

He couldn’t help the cold that spread across his chest. He hated his birthday. His mom got drunk and his dad couldn’t help but complain about how difficult it was to have a son like him who wasn’t even able to make a single friend and invite him. He could already hear him say things like “Can’t you see Morty that this is Rick’s fault hm ? Maybe if you stopped going I don’t know where with the man you could have a life on your planet ? Ever thought of that Morty ?”. He hated him in those moments.

The year before, Rick and Morty had been on an adventure the day of his birthday. His grandpa had said he hadn’t known but the whole trip had been about playing games, fucked up scientific games but fun all the same. When they had come back the day after, having been absent for three days, his parents had been furious. Summer told him that their mom had drunk so much that she had found her passed out on the couch and his dad had been angry in the only way he knew how, by complaining.

They had insisted on celebrating his birthday anyway with two days late and it had been awful. Rick was angry and drunk, his mom was angry and drunk and his dad had just been angry and stupid. Summer had spent the whole time on her phone, catching his gaze from time to time and rolling her eyes angrily at the situation.

It wasn’t going to go well this time either he was sure. First because Rick hadn’t come back, a fact that hurt Morty but would undoubtedly ruin his mother mood. And second because he couldn’t remember the last time it had gone nicely. Well maybe he was wrong to think that, after all they weren’t his first family of Smith (and wasn’t that thought strange too) so maybe the other Morty had known nice and happy birthday parties before he died. He doubted it anyway.

He let his eyes roam over what he could see, scrapes of junks and metals, strange objects, some he knew helpful, other dangerous. He never felt more at home than in this room.

He got up and shook his sleep heavy limbs. Man, what he wouldn’t give to have something to escape this day. Rick and mom had alcohol, Summer had her phone and cigarettes, Jerry had a way of forgetting some things. Him, he had nothing to numb himself, to escape his thoughts and all the danger they could contain. Maybe that was why he was on a downing slope so quickly, maybe he needed something to cope, to get away from it all. He could also see it become a little dangerous. Thoughts for later, thoughts for later.

What he needed to do right now was go up, slip into his room, change his clothes and get ready for the day. Maybe it would keep him from wondering too hard about where Rick could be, and what the hell he was up to that made him miss this day.

 

°°°

 

Well. Said it hadn’t he ? He looked at Summer on his right but she seemed hypnotized by her phone, fingers tapping quickly. They both knew it wasn’t true but he would spare her, so he turned his gaze on his parents. Their raised voices were becoming louder and louder, making blood pulse in his temples. He could feel himself dissociating by habit, to get away from their discussion. All he could hear was some words thrown around more than others : “Morty”, “Rick”, “bad influence”, "dangerous”.

“Look at him looking all stupid again ! It’s been worse since your father came Beth ! He is a monster and he is dangerous !”

This, this he heard and the anger than rose in him snapped him out of his trance. What ? They were wrong ! How dare they ! He only had episodes like that with them and more than that couldn’t his father see that he wasn’t being “stupid” ? That he only needed space and that was the only way of doing it ? That he had to get away from them ?

And what right had they to talk about Rick like that when they didn’t even know him. His mom could barely hold two facts straight about his life, about him because she was so desperate to keep him there that she had never tried to dig, to get to know him, so afraid she was that he would leave again if he said too much.

Or maybe she thought she wouldn’t be able to let him live here if his reasons for leaving when she was a child weren’t enough. Morty didn’t care. And his dad, he just … hated him for coming into his life, ruining his marriage and being the only one to say no to his whims and complaints. He could feel the craziness that came with anger lately on the edges of his mind. He wanted to yell, to bruise his fists, to smell the wafts that came from the use of the laser gun. He couldn’t tell if the person he wanted to hurt most was himself or someone else.

He let his gaze trace the table and its contents. What a waste. The cake in its industrial splendor was still intact, not a slice eaten. He wasn’t even hungry anymore, he just wanted to hurl that cake at the wall, maybe it would be symbolic of this sham of a birthday party. He looked straight at Summer, feeling a little empty as he took in how tense she looked and how sad the whole scene was. She raised an eyebrow at him, he shook his head in disappointment and she grimaced in return. He was going to leave when Summer got up and slammed her hands on the table.

“Okay so I think that’s enough. Morty and I are going to go outside take a walk maybe eat icecream, I’m taking the money from your wallet by the way dad, and you’re not going to talk to us until you got your shit together. It’s your son birthday and you can even keep yourselves from fighting, well fuck this alright.”

“Summer !” His mom cried, looking outraged. “You can’t talk to us like that !”

“Yeah ? Guess where I learned it from, we’re going.”

At that she went to the front door, took a bill from their dad coat pocket and turned back to him.

“You coming Morty ?”

He could feel his first smile of the day threatening to appear on his face. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	3. Let's get worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Summer !” His mom cried, looking outraged. “You can’t talk to us like that !”  
> “Yeah ? Guess where I learned it from, we’re going.”  
> At that she went to the front door took a bill from their dad coat pocket and turned back to him.   
> “You coming Morty ?”   
> He could feel his first smile of the day threatening to appear on his face. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“So ? What’s up with you and Rick ?”

“What ?”

Summer was walking just ahead of him, eating her icecream as they walked. They had found a truck selling them just a few streets away from home and were now wandering the neighborhood.

“Well you know, he isn’t here today ? Happy sixteenth birthday by the way bro.”

“Geez thanks Summer. There’s no problem with Rick, he’s just away you know ? I don’t … don’t really know what he’s doing.”

He couldn’t help a spike of worry, just where the hell was Rick ? It was common for him to disappear from time to time, you couldn’t really make someone like him stay in one place for long but even if it was grudgingly and with a lot of booze he was always there for “family days”. And if he wasn’t sure he’d be back before they noticed he was gone he always gave them a time limit, an approximation of when he would return.

“I guess he couldn’t be there in time. Maybe he’ll crash the ship into the garage tonight.” Morty said with a shrug.

That was another point of worry. Rick only took his ship when he thought he could be hurt enough to need the autopilot or when his destination was one were people might know about him and where the use of the portal gun needed to be kept to strict minimum.

“Yeah I know but, it’s been what ? Almost a week now ? I have a bad feeling about this Morty, we don’t even know what he is gone for and that’s not normal.”

He disliked looking straight at people, it was something that came naturally only off earth because people out there couldn’t care less what you looked like and social conventions just weren’t the same. Summer and Rick were the only one planet side he could always look at without feeling oppressed. Right now as he looked at her he could see the tension around her mouth and eyes, her straightened back and he could tell she was really worried. His chest tightened.

“It’s probably nothing, you know how he is right ? He must be partying so hard somewhere that he doesn’t even know what day it is.”

He couldn’t help the weakness of his laugh. God what would he do if Rick didn’t came back ? What would he be ? He couldn’t go back to loser-Morty, stupid-Morty, alone-Morty. Couldn’t think of never seeing stars and space, strange civilizations, his grandpa. Couldn’t think of being filled again by loneliness, boredom, the feeling of hollowness. His head was pounding to a strange rhythm. God what if ? What if he was alone again, just an ordinary teenager caged on this earth ?

Because that’s what it would be now and forever, a prison. Earth nowadays was somewhere to go back to but never to stay, a place to lick their wounds, to take space from each other when it became too much. But it wasn’t somewhere to live. He knew they would be safe here, it wasn’t the point, after all even if Rick hadn’t really talked about it Morty was pretty sure there were some hardcore defense systems hidden all over the house in addition to its bunker qualities. But it sounded like such a bleak life.

Morty had had a nightmare about that once, he had been flabbergasted, horrified as he dreamt of a life where Rick never came to their house, never taught him. The dream had ended when his bath was painted red.

There was a hard impact on the right side of his head. Morty realized that he could feel his icecream, sticky on his fingers as it melted over his hand.

“Get over yourself Morty, I’m just being whiney about this there’s probably no problem and he’ll come back soon to wake us up with his drunken antics. So stop being a little bitch here.”

They were still on the same corner they had begun their discussion and breathing hurt a little, he could feel his body as it tried to evacuate the tension that had been mounting until now. A panic attack really ? It was too soon to think about these things.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Of course I am. Now come on, what do you say we go through the garage as a revenge ?”

That could be dangerous. But maybe dangerous was what he needed right now, some kind of adrenaline and quick thoughts. But if they fucked themselves up they wouldn’t be able to do anything until Rick came back. That didn’t sound so good suddenly. He could still remember Summer, bigger than the house and turned inside-out. No, no, bad idea.

“Hum … maybe not but … hey we could go watch the interdimensional cable ?”

“Ok chicken.” She shoved him lightly. “Let’s go watch TV.”

The trip back to the house was nice enough if you ignored the fact that they didn’t feel the need to speak more and that his sticky hand seemed to call to every insect on the streets.

 

°°°

 

When they opened the front door, it was to the sight of their mom getting up the stairs while nursing a glass of red wine. Morty could see the blurred quality of her eyes from where they were.

“Oh hey sweethearts, I’m going to my room but feel free to have fun ! The cake is in the kitchen.”

“Yeah thanks mom, where’s dad ?” Summer asked.

“He decided to … go take a walk.”

Summer shrugged.

“Okay, good nap mom, try not to drink too much.”

Beth frowned but seemed to sag a little with a sight, too tired from her moment with Jerry to fight again.

“Alright, see you later kids.”

As she got up the last steps, Summer turned back to him.

“So what are we watching ? You better not say ball fondlers.”

They got themselves on the couch, Summer getting her phone out by habit. He sent her a look.

“What ? I can multitask okay ?”

As if. No matter, what he needed right now was to distract himself and TV on his own would probably be easier to manage. He began to change the channels. A show with corn people, another earth, some kind of hunger games, a show of strange looking blobs … talking ? No, he wanted space with something strange but still understandable to their human minds and manners, without it being a bloodbath if possible.

He thought he had found a movie nice enough when a large purple banner went through the screen, reading “URGENT NEWS”. He felt himself straighten as Summer tapping stopped.

The two aliens that appeared on screen were typical of the Federation, green and flies looking. They were both sat behind a desk, the set up around them eerily similar to what you could see during TV news on earth.

“Aren’t those banners supposed to be red ?” Summer asked.

Morty shushed her, hyperfocused on the screen. They weren’t going to hear what he thought he would hear right ?

“ _Here is our urgent news people of the galaxy. A dangerous criminal was seen on Bepis 9 as he detonated a bomb inside the Gromflom embassy ! We deplore the loss of several of our compatriots, valiantly fighting for justice around the world by helping maintain law on Bepis 9. This criminal is an extremely dangerous terrorist searched for murder, theft and possession of deadly materials. If you see this face, do not approach in any way but contact us on the communication line following.”_ A string of numbers and strange letters crossed the screen. “ _Now you can see behind us the security footage of the embassy as well as a picture of this criminal on the right up corner of the screen_.”

Morty couldn’t breath as he watched what looked like his grandfather running like hell while the embassy exploded. He could see patches of red on the usually pristine white cloak, his hair was in disarray, some of it burnt and one of his hand seemed strangely mangled, even held as it was against him. Why didn’t he use his portal gun ?

Morty choked on his saliva. As painful coughs racked his body he could feel his head emptying slowly. What was going on ? No ! No way he was going to dissociate now.

“Summer.”

His voice was all scratchy.

“Yeah ?”

Hers seemed shaky but he wasn’t sure.

“Summer I need a phone.”

“Like hell dipshit ! You’re not taking my phone.”

Definitely shaky despite the harsh words. He rounded on her, feeling like he was out of himself.

“I don’t give a fuck ! Yours, a nobody, I don’t give a flying fuck. Just … just help me find a phone.”

“Wow okay okay, I think we have some old ones in a box somewhere. Calm your horses, I’ll go look for them.”

He might have whispered a thanks as he sat back but he couldn’t be sure. He didn’t care. First thing first. Was this his Rick ? It could be another dimension Rick getting himself blown up on Bepis 9, right ? Yeah as if, life wasn’t so nice with their family. He just needed to check, to be sure before he did anything drastic like getting himself killed by upturning everything in the garage trying to find … what exactly ? He could hear Summer moving around the house. They were pretty lucky their mom hadn’t been here to see that.

He took a deep breath and felt something in his mind harden itself. Better get to work.


	4. Are you the one ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He took a deep breath and felt something in his mind harden itself. Better get to work.

He felt like he had been punched in the gut. God couldn’t the channel universe be any other than C-137 ? He didn’t want to think about this one, about the family they had left behind in a world destroyed by some stupid teenager lust and a reckless scientist. What were his chances for these news to be about any other than his Rick ? He needed to find out, and he needed to find out quick. He focused back to his hands.

The phone was old and rectangular, probably one of those first generation touch screen but it would do. Summer was walking in circles behind him, her own phone safely tucked in her back pocket as she tried to look at what he was doing. They were now in the garage, with Morty sitting at the desk while he opened the back of the old phone in order to put a bright yellow sim card in it.

He wondered if Rick knew about this. They didn’t have many secrets … well Morty didn’t have many secrets, Rick was so full of them he wasn’t even sure he remembered them all. But this card was something he had tried to keep quiet, something Rick wasn’t supposed to be aware of.

He was waiting for the phone to power up when he realized the thing wouldn’t because it hadn’t been charged in years. Shit. If he even got this right anyway, he would probably need a battery a lot stronger that what earth could give.

“Okay Summer, I need you to find a machine as big as … you forearm or something. It has a grey handle on the underside and a screen that slides up. You’ll find it somewhere in the card box in the corner right there. While you do that I’ll try to find something to make this phone work.”

“I’m not your lackey, you know that right ?”

There was no need to answer when she went to the box anyway. He glanced around the room as he thought about what he would need. To go looking for the original battery charger would be stupid because they would never find it, but there had to be something he could use in here even if the phone was old technology (almost everything on earth was old technology anyway).

So a way to get energy, without frying themselves if possible. Think, think, think. Nothing mechanical would work, but maybe something organic or a mineral ? Yes that was it, a crystal. Almost five months ago they had stolen a crystal that contained energy, didn’t they ?

The planet had been really colorful and when Rick had destroyed one of the crystal-trees that seemed to grow everywhere, the planet had felt like it was crackling with power, little arcs of whatever energy it was shooting out of the ground. The scenery had been absolutely beautiful, and for once no life (and so much less danger) anywhere. The crystal they had gone home with had looked almost like a flower, hanging from a one of the biggest crystal-tree.

So maybe it wasn’t electricity but he could still remember Rick going on and on about how easy it would be for them to power up his inventions with this, or even his ship if needed. Well that and how precious it was. He was pretty sure Rick kept those kind of loot in strange metal boxes under the garage, in a room next to the one with all of his “mindblowers moments”.

This one had become a kind of joke between them about how Morty was growing from abyssal stupidity to a more tolerable one as he proved he could deal with those experiences, and it was true that he hadn’t had to use it in almost a year. Or he thought so at least.

He swept aside the carpet and opened the hatch. He was always fascinated by the fact that nothing of Rick ever seemed to grow old, he never saw any dust anywhere and objects seemed to miraculously stay clean. It was almost funny when you knew the man and how much he didn’t care about hygiene. Morty cringed as he thought back to these nights in disgusting space motel rooms or abandoned shacks, when it wasn’t just outside in the wild.

There ! Alone in a box of alien metal, the crystal seemed to glow with purple and dark blue veins, illuminating a lighter blue shell. Maybe he shouldn’t touch it with his bare hands. He couldn’t remember how they had gotten it back here, had Rick worn gloves ?

Apart from that there was another problem. The crystal was big enough to fill his entire hand if he took it and he needed a shard at most. God he could bet his life on the fact that manipulating this thing was going to get them hurt. Better go up with the box.

 

°°°

 

“Hey, Morty ! Found it !”

He turned his back to the desk and fruitless efforts. He didn’t know how he was going to chip a piece of the crystal but it wasn’t looking so good. He didn’t dare try his luck by hitting it, if only by fear of blowing up the room with power arcs.

Summer was looking at him as she brandished the dimensional scanner like a trophy. He couldn’t help a sight. Well that was at least one thing going as planned. He took it from her hands with a quick thanks. He got the screen up, revealing a tiny keyboards and control directions.

“So what you’re the mad scientist now Morty ? Can you at the very least tell your big sister what the fuck is going on here. Because Rick sure as hell didn’t give me any back up plan for this scenario and you look pretty sure of what you’re doing.”

He gave a weak laugh, feeling suddenly heavy.

“Really ? That’s … that’s good I guess. Because I’m going freestyle here and the only plan I have at the time is to find out if the Rick on TV was our Rick.”

“And this thing is going to help us … how ?”

“Well it’s going to help us know in which dimension our Rick is. That’s a good start I think.”

Summer nodded, serious and looking incredibly focused on him. Wasn’t that the saddest thing of all, they hadn’t spent time so tightly cooperating in months, even when Rick took them both off earth. What makes you closer that some good old tragedy, right ?

Wasn’t that a funny insight too on his and Rick’s relationship : two poorly socially adapted individuals running around and kept together by the fucking bad shit they faced. It had better keep going like this for a long time.

 

°°°

 

Summer voice hit his ear as he was putting some hair in the square looking test tube on the back of the scanner. He could see night falling slowly behind them, the garage door opened.

“So. Want to tell me why you have some of Rick’s hair ? Because that … is … creepy.”

Morty grimaced. When his grandfather had explained to him how the dimensional scanner worked, he may or may not have slipped into Rick’s room into the dead of the night, while its owner was in the garage basement, in order to steal some hair on his pillow. The night before that, Rick had told him how every dimension Rick (and Morty) shared the same DNA but with little singularities in it, created by the differences in each one, which made them able to locate their other selves’ universe if they had some of their DNA. He had created the dimensional scanner in order to find which Rick was in which universe and by so stole from some just as he made sure to never cross path with others. He was pretty sure his Rick had spent a week or two on the citadel to collect multiples Rick’s hair, and wasn’t sure he wanted to know how because there was a lot of profiles on the machine.

“I just … wanted to be careful ?”

“Yeah keep telling yourself that creepy boy.”

He frowned at her.

“Well ? Get going. What does this scanner tells you ?”

He looked at the screen. The spinning helix that had appeared when he put the hair in was dispelling itself, to let place to several lines of information.

**_Rick Sanchez (C-137)_ **

_Status : Alive._

_last check : 10 hours ago._

_Location : Unknown._

_last check : Unknown - Dimension C-137, 10 hours ago._

God it meant …

“What the fuck ? Didn’t you say it was this universe’s Rick hair you put in the goddamn tube ? So why the hell does it say Rick C-137 ? He can’t be in our universe because you checked earlier the channel and you were sure it wasn’t the one we live in.”

Morty felt himself freeze.

“Oh god Morty was this what you meant when you said there is another you in a grave in the garden ? Oh my god have I been eating breakfast next to my dead little brother and grandfather bodies ? What the fuck Morty ! What the fucking fuck ! So what you just hopped from universe to universe until you found one were the other you were dead, or maybe you killed them ? And then what you lived happily ever after ? That’s so fucked up !”

She was raving, moving around the room with her arms going up in the air every now and then.

“Well not exactly geez … but that’s about it yeah.”

She turned back to him, stilling.

“What really ?”

“I mean … yes ? I told you last time you know. We just fucked up our universe’s earth so bad that we couldn’t live on it anymore so we kind of …  we found a universe where Rick and Morty died around the time we fucked up and … just stayed here. “

“Wow … that’s just … wow …”

She sighted and scrubbed at her face, hands wide open. She might have whispered something like “what the fuck is my life” but he wasn’t sure because it had immediately been followed by a short cry of frustration. She sat heavily on the desk chair.

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you just about admitted you and grandpa killed our family in another universe and … not think about it.”

She sighted again. Morty was surprised at how easy this had been. Wasn’t she going to demand more explanations ? He was even more surprised at the fact that this conversation hadn’t emotionally gutted him. Why didn’t he feel the horrified sadness he went through before anytime he thought about this ?

He let the idea turn around in his mind, away and close again. He wasn’t really sad anymore, wasn’t he ? They had been living here for two years now, all the time to adjust to this “new” family that was exactly the same as before but with an edge he hadn’t been conscious of.

Because in the end, the only “true” ones were him and Rick. That didn’t mean he would let these new Smith die but he didn’t forget. He didn’t forget that if a new earth-ending disaster happened, two people would go through a portal and start back again. It was a fact. A painful one but true nonetheless. And you couldn’t give yourself fully to someone you already knew you could and maybe would have to replace by making a step in green light.

What did that say about him and Rick ? Fuck. He needed to stop thinking about it.

“Okay, so it’s probably our Rick.” Summer said, sounding tired.

It was at time like this he remembered this Summer was almost twenty and a lot more mature than he ever knew her in the original universe.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“Great. So what do we do ?”

“We go and get him back.”


	5. Family dilemna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, so it’s probably our Rick.” Summer said, sounding tired.  
> It was at time like this he remembered this Summer was almost twenty and a lot more mature than he ever knew her in the original universe.  
> “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”  
> “Great. So what do we do ?”  
> “We go and get him back.”

As determined as they were, night had fallen and Jerry had no more excuses to be out. He had come home with a pitiful cry of “We won’t let Rick destroy this family again !” and the fixed idea that since their last meal had gone wrong it was necessary for the family to get together for diner.

Summer and Morty had turned a deaf ear, betting on the fact that even with Rick absent Jerry rarely dared to go into the garage. They had at least thirty minutes before Jerry came for them as he had the hard task of making his wife rise from her bed after one or two bottles of red wine.

Nothing guaranteed he would achieve it either and Morty didn’t know if it was a good thing. Dinner with his parents right now was the last thing he wanted but at least his mom and dad kept each other occupied with barely veiled barbs, dinner with only Jerry was … a trial of patience.

Anyway, he had other things to care about.

“Summer ? Think we can get out without being caught ? I can’t hear dad anymore.”

“Yeah pretty sure, why ?”

“Because I found what we needed to get a chip of the crystal I brought up and I think we better do it outside.” Morty said, as he brandished a slim cylinder the size of a pen.

Summer grimaced, she knew very well how easily they could blow themselves up. They could probably die just by jostling the wrong box in this room.

Morty swept a pair of encompassing black glasses from the desk, went toward the garage door and opened it. He had thought of going to the back garden but was slightly afraid of starting a fire. Best do it near the road, at this hour no one would be out and all the asphalt could do was melt. He didn’t give a shit if he destroyed the road.

“Can you keep an eye on the road for me ? I don’t want to have a bad surprise while manipulating this.” Morty said as he eyed the crystal. “Oh and you shouldn’t look towards me when I’m cutting it if you want to keep your eyesight.”

Summer nodded, keeping several feet between them. Morty carefully placed the crystal on the middle of the road in front of their neighbor house, glad that its flower like shape made it stable when upside down. The glasses found their place around his face, making the world seem strangely sharp. Pushing a small raspy patch on the stick in his left hand, he opened the laser blade.

“Well, here goes nothing.” Morty said as he pushed the blade toward the crystal.

 

°°°

 

The result was … satisfying. Which didn’t say a lot when you knew what he and Rick saw as “things went well” during their adventures. The road was cracked in three places, torn apart by the burning arcs that had melted lines in her body. Morty had a small split on his left cheek that released the smell of burning flesh and hurt like hell but he had what he wanted. A decent sized chip thin enough to go inside the phone and power it for a very long time if what he remembered was true.

He took the crystal in his hands hissing sharply as he burned the pads of his fingers, some sides apparently still hot from the cutting. He ran back to the garage, throwing a small glance to his sister who had cowered back in when it became certain that no car was going to get anywhere near him or if it did it would be fried.

The crystal back into its box he seized the old phone left on the desk and opened the back.

He could feel Summer crowding his back but nothing mattered more than his fingers putting the chip inside, closing it and powering it up. The screen flashed once and went black again.

No ! He couldn’t have done this for nothing, he didn’t have any other means of getting information. He didn’t know how else he could power something old like this earth phone, extraterrestrial mechanisms tended to be so much more complicated and were more than not incompatible with earth products.

The screen lit up yellow, displaying in black round letters “ _Welcome Morty_ ” followed by “ _Please confirm your identity and home universe_ ”. He could feel a hysterical laugh crowd behind his lips. Yes, yes, yes. This was the best news he had in days.

 

Summer shuffling had gone silent behind him. He turned around to find her looking at Jerry’s head peeking from the door as he tried to look discretely inside the garage.

“Kids ?”

The silent went on for several long seconds.

“Is Rick back ? We saw some strange lights from the bedroom window.”

“No dad. Rick isn’t back.” Summer answered sharply. “How is mom ?”

“Oh hum very tired ! We decided to let you kids have space tonight so you can order pizza or something if you want.”

Which meant that Beth had drunk too much and lashed at Jerry when he came to rouse her, he would probably spend the night trying to win forgiveness for something that had nothing to do with him or go sulk in a corner whispering to his R2D2 coins.

As he was disappearing back behind the door he suddenly poked his frowning head back.

“And get out of this room, it’s dangerous enough when Rick’s here.”

“Yeah dad don’t worry, we know what we’re doing.” Summer said as she rolled her eyes.

Well, wasn’t that a pretty lie. Even with Rick, half of the time was spent winging it as the genius would sometimes just decide to try things that could easily kill him. Case in point : this universe Rick and Morty’s deaths, an experiment gone deadly with just a wrong screwdriver turn. It could have been them if something else hadn’t gone dramatically wrong. Who would have thought he could be glad in some ways to have cronemberged an entire planet ?

Morty was focusing back on the phone when his sister called him to her. He could recognize the beeping machine in her hand as reconstructing technology, often used by Rick when they had cuts that weren’t too bloody.

“I’m not sure it’s going to keep it from scaring a little but hey, worst case you can always ask Rick when he comes ... when we get him back to help with it.” Summer said, grimacing.

The call back to his burn made it flare to life again. In his excitation with the phone, the hot stinging sensation had been easily ignored but now seemed much worse.

Funnily enough even thought they were always getting hurt, Morty had learned more about killing machines and transportation than healing. It certainly had to do with Rick’s own dismissal of his health but could also be seen as revealing of Morty character. Violence was something he understood well by now, to help was more difficult.

How could you when the majority of your interactions off earth where battles to the death, betrayals and murders ? He had tried to help, the misnamed Fart, that girl on the purge planet, ... Helping got you hurt or killed. It made you responsible of the actions committed by those you saved.

If he asked Rick and insisted enough he would teach him ways to heal creatures on the brink of death, save societies from famines, construct buildings that would last centuries for the people he built it for. But … was there a point ? Nobody could save the world, they could only try to survive it. Not that he was against helping, he just … didn’t see the appeal in pursuing “hero” adventures anymore.

And even if it wasn’t for that, thinking of helping showed too much the contrast between what he and Rick did, and what helping could mean. Destroyers of worlds didn’t stop for one life, they certainly didn’t stop when millions perished.

Morty felt slightly nauseous. Thinking about it in term of numbers was something he never did, it was easier to deal with “I destroyed ONE planet” than “I killed MILLIONS of people”. He was always a little sick when he thought about that, not because of the culpability but because even with these horrifying facts he wouldn’t want it any other way. What was more exhilarating than chaos ? Than the thrill of a fight, a difficult escape, an “impossible” infiltration or theft ? Than the power rush of killing someone and knowing that by doing so you’re better, smarter than him or her ? It was horrifying at times but the only way he ever really felt alive.

Rick got it more than any other Rick which was probably why he hated the Citadel so much. A pale imitation of society, a new cage constructed by her own prisoners. A sad try at curbing chaos as it grew forever around Ricks.

He closed his eyes while a white beam followed the burned line on his cheek. The sensation was disturbing but familiar and let him feel his fingers pulsing. He had burnt them too hadn’t he ? Summer pointed the beam at his hands when he silently pushed them toward her.

“Well look at you, looking a little wild here.” Summer said, watching his face and grinning widely. “It even has a slight purple-blue glow.”

He rose a hand to his face, touching rough skin on a slightly raised line following the curve of his left cheek from its middle to end just under the corner of his eye. It seemed fair that his first adventure alone would mark him – very soon in it and wasn’t that a bad omen – what he was going to try was insane and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get any thanks for it.

If they got Rick back maybe he would keep it anyway, as a reminder of what he was capable of without the mad scientist. His first brand from the universe. Rick had a lot of them in the form of bionic limbs and organs. He could live with a scar from a strange electrical crystal that made building a plan possible.

He smiled back at her.

“Let’s do this.”

 

°°°

 

They were alone in the dining room, distractingly eating slices of pizza. Getting his identification on the phone server had been a task and half but he was finally in. He could see several applications downloading themselves slowly and was more tense than relieved now that he could use it. It was his only way to communicate with off earth and other dimensions’ inhabitants, and even then it was a very particular kind of people.

He took a deep breath, he wasn’t sure how he wanted to do this. Maybe it would be easier alone. He knew how be invisible in strange places and his morals had taken a very serious beating, his sister not so much. But she was trusted, she had learned back up plans upon back up plans for years in order to help them when they couldn’t help themselves anymore. If someone deserved to get a choice in this family, it was her. 

“Summer. I need you to think about what I’m going to say very carefully.”

She frowned at him but didn’t say anything, maybe feeling the weight of his previous thoughts.

“I can get us in the universe where Rick currently is … but I have no assurance of getting back here.” He grimaced. “I’m going to pull favors from a lot of people and I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it again to go back. Nothing say either that Rick will be able or even willing to get back here, who knows what the Citadel think of what is going on.”

He took another breath, feeling like he was going to stutter again. It hadn’t happened in almost a year but you never knew.

“Wh-what I’m trying to say is : if you come with me, I don’t know if you’ll get to see your family again.”

“I’m in.”

“What.” Morty deadpanned. “You don’t want to think more about it ? This is your parents, your original parents, that’s not something you leave behind so easily.”

Summer answering laugh was bitter.

“Yeah I get that. But thing is, I don’t care.” She sounded tired. “I’m not so in my own world that I don’t realize that you and Rick are the only things changing in other universes. Summers, Beths and Jerrys are all the same, and if not our family doesn’t exist. You both don’t need me, you can find another one anywhere but I can’t find another you, another Rick. And even then, some others come to live in this universe. They wouldn’t be those with whom I lived crazy adventures, they wouldn’t be the Morty I saw grow into a badass little shit or the Rick I worked so hard on to get him to open up little.”

Morty was silent. He didn’t know if he was happy or sad. Maybe a little proud, in a slightly vicious way, that he and Rick had enough influence on her to open her eyes on her own limited importance, the way Rick so often did for him. It wasn’t nice, but reality wasn’t nice and keeping your eyes closed didn’t keep you alive.

“I’m in.” She repeated, looking straight into his eyes.

When he answered with a simple “alright” his smile felt crooked. They didn’t say anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Thanks for the kudos and thanks to Evil Morty, Evil+Morty and StarOfTime for their comments and advice !


	6. Stowaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m in.” She repeated, looking straight into his eyes.  
> When he answered with a simple “alright” his smile felt crooked. They didn’t say anything more.

To make pocket dimensions was difficult. He was doing this entirely from memory and even thought Rick had done this an incredible number of times in front of him, it was becoming clear it was much more complicated than it had looked like.

Rick’s coat pockets hid a lot of things and the coat got destroyed so often, he seemed to patch the connection between the pockets dimensions and his – new – coat every odd day. Morty wouldn’t be able to do that but he was pretty hopeful about creating small ones hosted by a waistband.

An hour had been enough to craft several in a black supple material Rick kept in one of his boxes, the self-adjusting fabric perfect for what he intended. Being unable to get back these small dimensions if they lost the thing hosting it was very worrying, it would fuck them up irreparably.

And without them traveling would become very complicated, they needed weapons, a safety and health kit, and various necessities like food and water (a lot of places just didn’t have anything safely edible). All of this meant very heavy and big bags, which was a very good way of hindering them and attracting the wrong attention.

To have belts adjusted to their waist and hidden under their shirts was the best way he found to keep the pockets safe. It raised other problems, like fast accessibility but he found it to be a good compromise. He wasn’t going to fight a full blown war, what he wanted was to do this smoothly : find Rick, get in, get out of wherever this was and disappear. The universe being a bitch meant it probably wouldn’t be this easy but they had to try.

Nicely enough it seemed the fourth try was the one. The waistband wasn’t ripped apart for once and the small pouches on the front seemed sturdy. Thank god, things were moving easily enough.

 

Time to get to the hard part : find a way to get into the C-137 dimension. He was reasonably sure Rick was still there, if his portal gun was still working he would have hightailed out of here sooner and already be at home to lick his wounds. That or he was kept prisoner there and some help couldn’t hurt him anyway. Worse wasn’t … he didn’t dare think about it.

The phone powered up easily again, a fact that made him sigh with relief. He had feared the energy would become too much and fry it but everything seemed fine. He opened a black round application stamped with a yellow capital M. “ _Welcome Morty C-132_ ” disappeared to reveal several lines, each one describing a topic such as _general discussion_ , _Rick being a dick_ , _adventures_ , _porn stuff_ , _urgent problems_ , _yellow market_ and others.

He was glad no real verifications had been done when he registered himself, to let it known he was the Morty of the renegade Rick was a very bad idea. They had killed a lot of their counterparts during their stunt with the first Citadel and some people were probably still angry about it.

As he opened the _urgent problems_ chat he was pretty satisfied to see no other messages in the chat room, maybe the Morty moderators were smart enough to erase every conversation here after it was resolved. He took a deep breath and focused. He was going to go for a voice message.

“Gu-guys I need help please ! My Rick died-d god fuck my Rick died he blew up-p the garage and there’s blood everywhere and-d … and I don’t know what to do. He blew up his p-portal gun too I don’t want to ge-get caught by Citadel’s Ricks and be forced to live with ano-another, mine was a real dick and I can’t g-go through that again !

Please someone help me get in the Citadel, I’ll … I’ll hide in the slums I do-don’t care I just want to run away from this, no-nobody will search for me in crowds a hund-dreds of us. Please I don’t know what else t-to do.”

There, that should be enough despair to push one into disobeying his Rick and he knew from his encounters on the Citadel that many Mortys had a very harsh life with their grandfathers and would see themselves in him. With any luck it would work even if it was because a Morty with a pretty good life took pity on him. Now he just had to wait a few hours.

It was sometime still eerie for him when he did these kind of things. One year or two before, acting or lying like he could now was impossible, a far-fetched idea. He didn’t know if being able to be so fake, so cold in some of his choices was a good or bad thing. He should maybe stop thinking about it in those terms because he was beginning to realize that everything just painted a picture of numerous grays.

 

°°°

 

Their “bags” were ready, everything carefully packed inside their respective waistband’s pouches. One for water bottles, dry and canned food stolen from the pantry or bought by Summer with their mother card. One for medicine, health products and machines of various purposes, one for grenades, small guns and some of the many gadgets Rick kept in his armory, and another for changes of clothes. A last one on the back was left empty, for Summer so she could put here the materials and items they might find and for Morty to store the dimension portal gun he intended to obtain.

Morning had risen two hours ago and Beth had gone to work while Jerry disappeared to do what he did during his days, which was something of a mystery. Morty and his sister hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep, too busy gathering everything they might need while waiting for an answer on the phone.

Morty-F164 had replied with an agreement, his Rick was apparently on a bender after a fight with his Beth and once unconscious wouldn’t wake up for several hours. He knew how to use the portal gun and wanted a favor in exchange for their passage in the Citadel, which was predictable and easily resolved.

“So we’re going to go to the Citadel, which you still hasn’t explained by the way, and then what ?”

“We’ll find the rest of what we need here, it’s like a nexus point between dimensions where millions of Ricks built a city and a government. Everyone there is a version of Rick or me so we’re going to be really careful. You can’t be seen, at least not in the good parts of the city, or people will have questions we can’t afford. Once here we keep to the shadows and you let me talk.”

The phone rang once, notifying them it was time. They both went silent and readied themselves. Summer shot him a look.

“Explain to me why you’re arming a gun right now ? I thought it was a Morty on the other side.”

The air shimmered, distorting slightly before opening in a green portal.

“It’s not deadly, now come on !” Morty said tensely as he jumped in.

As soon as reality reestablished herself he zeroed on the yellow shirt in the corner of his eye and shot. He could hear the “ _what the fuck Morty ?_ ” of Summer and the portal closing as he looked at his counterpart. He seemed younger and the wide eyes of shock on his frozen face gave him an air of naivety that Morty had lost a long time ago. Morty-F164 was motionless, having been immobilized by his gun and the concentrated electric field it fired.

He felt a brief surge of pity. This Morty didn’t seem to have a very dangerous life to be this careless, he hadn’t taken any security measure before opening the portal. His Rick should be training him more or he would get him killed.

He shot a look at Summer and put his finger to his lips, using his other hand to point at the celling then his ear. Her answering look promised questions but she knew as well as him that Rick was a paranoid bastard who recorded every sound in the garage. The less information they gave, the more difficult it would be for Rick F-164 to find them if he felt like it.

He took out from his belt the memory wiper gun and pointed it at the stunned Morty. Summer was probably burning a hole his back with how hard she was looking at him while he pulled the trigger. The memory capsule on the butt of the gun filled itself with pale green swirls and Morty F-164 eyes unfocused.

He pocketed it immediately and took the portal gun from his unresisting hand. A quick look at his phone confirmed that their exchange had already been deleted. Perfect. He carefully typed the coordinates for the outskirts of the Citadel and regrettably put it on Rick’s desk once he fired it.

It would have been easier to keep this one and go from there but too dangerous. Rick would never let go of a slight like this and in the worst case kill them for it. They couldn’t afford to have to look over their shoulder all along, they would doom themselves.

He would have liked to avoid the Citadel too, to take Summer there was going to be a pain in the ass, and go straight to the C-137 dimension. But it would probably end up in the same scenario, just pursued because he was C-137 and not for the theft. If Rick saw this dimension on his gun history it would make him curious and push him to go after them, or worse, send the Citadel's dogs. 

The best idea he had found was to get to the Citadel, leave no trace and no way to know where they came from or were getting to, and find a portal gun on the black market there. Or steal it. It would depend on the opportunities offering themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and to Jason Funderberker !
> 
> *
> 
> Don't hesitate to ask me questions in the comments if you feel like some things are unclear for you.


End file.
